Trudeau

Justin: beard or no beard?

At his daily 11 am COVID-19 news conference today, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau will make a major announcement related to fundraising.

According to a very good source of mine in Ottaw, Trudeau will pledge to shave off his beard to the highest corporate bidder, with all of the proceeds going towards COVID-19 Relief funds. This was reportedly the idea of his wife Sophie Grégoire, presently recovering from the virus. “Like most Canadians, Sophie did not like her husband’s beard at all,” said my source. “This turned out to be the perfect excuse to get rid of it.”

Nobody, not even Sophie, have any idea why the Prime Minister grew the sprinkled grey beard in the first place while on a family vacation in Costa Rica in January.

There are a few theories

  • He wanted to look much older than his actual age of 48;
  • He hoped that American President Donald Trump would not recognize him;
  • He wanted the world to know that he was old enough to shave.

Trudeau has reportedly been told by his medical advisors that the beard is prompting him to touch his face too much during this crisis, a big no no with COVID-19.

Even though times are tough, Trudeau’s handlers believe that bids from the wealthy in this country who would like to get the publicity could exceed $5 million.

Former NDP leader Tom Mulcair told he was approached to shave his beard for charity on a number of occasions, but it was  never the right fit. "Justin is not a beard guy to me," he said. "When you are the leader of a party, especially the Prime Minister,  you should keep a consistent look.  Will people like him on the poles with a  beard in his campaign posters or will he do better in the  opinion polls without it?" 

Dr. Theresa Tam,  Canada’s Chief Public Health Officer, has agreed to take part in the ceremony. Gillette has reportedly manufactured a special blade that is six feet long.

While this article may be an April Fool’s joke, please tell me this would not be a great idea for our Prime Minister?

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