Suzanne Reisler Litwin: Exhauuustionnnnn

“Can we talk?” Those were Joan Rivers’ famous words. The late celebrity and talk show host explained in an interview the roots of her three magic words — which actually aren't rooted in much of her doing. "I always try to be very honest. My humor is truly stripping everything." she explained. "I didn't realize I was saying it to the audience, and then they began repeating it back to me.” Her words stuck.

Today, I’m using her words as mine. Can we talk? I’m fricken EXHAUSTED! I don’t know if it’s just me or many other people. In the Spring I planted my annual flowers with invigorated hope, excitement, and a yearning to watch everything grow. Today, I pulled the same annual flowers out of the flower beds. They are exhausted and no longer able to flower due to colder temperatures. I feel their exhaustion.

Perhaps I’m feeling as autumn does the changing of my leaves. The beautiful crimson colours the trees and bushes change into. The newly crisp flowy air with less humidity. The lifting of summer’s glee with preparation for winters roar! I look forward to autumn and I do love when it’s here. But as the flowers, I too have become exhausted and require some rest.

I’m not complaining!

I’m just stating a fact!!!

Could this be a variance of my age? Could this be the change of seasons from warm to colder temperatures and darker days? Could this it be the ever presence of autumn clouds? Could this be crabby o’l me just getting older and feeling tired?

Or…maybe I just can’t say “NO”! I think that’s truly the source of my exhaustion. It’s not the season, it’s the inability to say the word ‘No”.

Each week I prepare my classes and write articles. I write in my journal daily and do many other things. On top of that, I get requests to read and edit materials. This takes a lot of time, because I am thorough. I do this as a favour here and there. Sometimes, I’m asked to deliver workshops, speak to groups and mentor newbie writers. That takes time too. Often, I’m reading, editing, suggesting, and brainstorming with and for others. This is probably the source of my exhaustion. I just can’t say no to requests to help others.

Sometimes, it’s very important to say the word no. As a parent, I used this word often and effectively. Then it was easy to say the word no. For some reason unknown to me, I don’t have the same determination to say the word ‘no’ when I should. Maybe I’ve soften my stance? Maybe I can do it, so I will, and then I do, and therefore become exhausted from it? Maybe I mean to say No but out jumps a Yes instead?

This reminds me of a friend who means to say flowers, but out jumps a frog!

Believe me… I’m no saint. I just have experience some people need and I love to help them. Seriously Sue, I’m not Young-Fun-Sue anymore. I’m older and requiring more time to do what I do, which makes me exhausted.

This sounds like I’m complaining…. I’m not! I’m just sharing a reality. Living in the Now for me at times is now, exhausting.

Like my annual flowers, I’ve exhausted this season’s blossom. Just like the trees which are dropping their leaves, they also need to go dormant and rest for a season.

Perhaps it’s just not me. Perhaps this is a universal feeling once the summer ends and the pressures of school begin. I hope my readers are able to relate to this and share a common perspective.

Tell me! Is it just me the ‘Old Goat’, or are you feeling somewhat exhausted too?

I wonder…as I jump into bed at 3 p.m.!

—Suzanne Reisler Litwin

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