Canada now has a website where you can correspond and connect with convicted murderers. Both men and women are on the website. Each convict profile has a description paragraph written by the inmate themselves as well as a mini-bio that tells you who they are, where they are serving time, what crime they were convicted of, and of course, their release date.
At least they’re being honest. In many cases the description presented by women and men on dating sites do not often match up when they are confronted in the real world. People often lie about their height, their weight, their age, occupation and where they reside. While a picture may reveal gender, race, age, hair and eye colour, attractiveness and physical attributes, it may not be of recent vintage or it may be photo enhanced.
Photos can also send out false signals.
Someone will show themselves standing in front of the Eiffel Tower to try to impress you with how well travelled they are, but the reality is that this was the only trip they ever took in their lifetime. They may show themselves sitting with a bunch of friends eating at a plush restaurant to convey that they are wealthy bon vivants, but they’re really at a fast-food chain, are cheap and not very discriminating when it comes to dining.
An acquaintance that has used a number of dating websites and was often hoodwinked gives this advice on how you can interpret the real meaning from someone’s online profile:
Profile by women:
40-ish = 48
6ft, model called Meghan = 5ft, 4in. bookkeeper called Myrtle
Adventurer = Has been in numerous relationships
Athletic = Flat chested
Beautiful = Pathological liar
Educated = High School dropout
Emotionally secure = Heavily medicated
Film actress = Once was a non-speaking extra
Fun = Annoying
Good listener = Borderline dementia
Loves sports = Thinks a quarterback is a refund
Old-fashioned = Lights off, missionary position only
Open-minded = Desperate
Redhead = Frequents the Clairol counter at Pharmaprix
Reubenesque = Grossly obese
Wants soul mate = A step away from stalking
Profile by men:
40-ish = 52, looking for a 25-year old babe
Athletic = Sits on couch, watching the Golf channel
Average looking = Hair on ears and nose, with a toupée on head
Company director = Temporarily unemployed
Educated = Watches SpongeBob cartoons
Excellent cook = Can make a salami sandwich
Fun = Stays home with a remote and six pack
Good dancer = Has two left feet
Huggable = Short, fat with protruding stomach
Likes to cuddle = Insecure, lives with his parents
Open-minded = Would shtoop your best friend and sister
Physically fit = Runs once around the block in his jeans
Raconteur = Laughs at his own jokes
Sharp dresser = Wears his cap backwards
Take you “on the ride of your life” = Coming to you on the 161 bus
Wine connoisseur =; Favourite is Manischewitz
Perhaps the secret to online dating is to downplay yourself as much as possible so when you actually meet someone in person they can’t help being impressed.